This post only exists because I need it to make sure not to turn back.
It is easier in english for some reason.
My room is now completely empty since I am moving out tomorrow and ironically I have never felt more empty, ever. I am trying to understand what just happend… I need to write this down to realize it is actually true.
It all started 18 months ago and since then I have been lying to so many people.
After a week in Austria I knew I had fallen blindly in love with this girl. It took many sleepless nights to accept. I can not explain why I love her, she just got to me. But most important, we had insanely fun together. She was my soulmate. But in the end we never loved in the same way. And reality will catch up on you, specially if one decides to move on.
Why did it have to be now?
“Leaving means losing”, I even wrote it myself. In your face Sofie Lindblom.
I do not want you back though. The version of you I knew would never do what you did to me.
I hope that one day you will find happiness with someone . But it will not be with me. Oh It hurts, it hurts so much to let go. I have never experienced anything like it. I have kept my heart safely marinated in gin for the last couple of days, it helps, it makes you numb. Starting to sober up now and it is like being strangled from the inside. I am new to this being dumped thing but I would say that I am not really a “Backstreet boys and ice cream”-type of person. I would prefer to put myself in the “Skrillex and tequila” category . But you can not do that forever. So I will pick up the pieces, close my facebook account, leave my phone in Singapore, go somewhere far away and put myself together again.
And then date boys.
Therefore this will be my last blog post for a very long time.
Good Bye Sparvis
Good Bye Singapore